Murphy's Laws Transformers Style
by Renarien
Summary: Examples of when Murphy's Laws apply to the Transformers and NEST.  I don't own Transformers, Murphy's Laws in any form or NEST... unfortunately.


**No Plan Survives Contact With The Enemy.**

"Fragitall to hellnback!"

Ironhide looked down at the human commander of NEST, who was swearing quietly but with great inventiveness near the Autobot's foot. Years of familiarity with the human had taught Ironhide to read Lennox almost as well as one of his own, and right now the Major had a fine fit of anger happening if the angle of his shoulders was anything to go by. A second later he got an internal comm. from Bumblebee and had to agree with the Major's comments.

"Frag."

"Whatup man?" Epps asked.

"They got around us."

Ironhide transformed and the two NEST officers got into the cab while other soldiers piled into the back. As they drove off, heading for the area where the Decepticons were now, they saw an explosion in the distance. Seconds later Epps started laughing and pointed at two vehicles parked on the side of the road. "Check the plates!"

Lennox looked at the cars, wondering why Epps was laughing at a black van and a jeep, but then he registered what the number plates said. 'REN1' and 'COBRA'. His eyes widened. "Oh."

Cobra was here. The Decepticons were attacking and Cobra was in the area. Lennox was torn between worrying that the famous team would get torn to shreds by the 'cons, and wondering if all those powers Travers and Wyvenhoe were rumoured to have were real and if they could do anything to the 'cons with them. As they rounded a corner and came upon the carnage it certainly looked like the latter was happening. The team were in the center of a cross road with plenty of clear space around them. The two largest men had rocket launchers on their shoulders and seemed to be using them to good effect. Travers made a sharp gesture and a large 'con was flung by some unseen force away as it leaped to attack, and the weapon discharge of another broke harmlessly against an invisible shield. Then Wyvenhoe's hands glowed a brilliant emerald green and twin blasts of emerald fire hurtled towards another Decepticon Lennox thought he recognised, and it went down, optics dark and dead.

"Y' think they need our help?" Epps asked.

"They're getting it," Lennox said as he leaped out of Ironhide's cab and started shouting orders.

The two sides seemed matched until Megatron arrived, making a mess of the NEST forces. At an unheard command all of Cobra dropped back to let Wyvenhoe take the front and Megatron's attention. Lennox was never sure how it happened, but Megatron fired a shot from his blaster at the small woman, who stood serenely in place as the destructive blast bore down on her. It hit, he saw that, but rather than disappearing in a flash the energy engulfed her and then started to twist upwards, growing brighter and brighter.

"GET DOWN!" That yell from Travers and all of the allied forces dropped to the ground less than half a second before an ear-splitting detonation rocked the whole area.

When Lennox raised his head again Wyvenhoe was standing calmly bare foot and stark naked on cracked and smoking concrete. Offlined Decepticons lay all around, and a smoke trail indicated where Megatron was in fast retreat.

Epps' shaken comment summed up the situation well. "Man, that plan of Meg's certainly didn't survive contact with the enemy!"

**Friendly Incoming Fire Has Right Of Way.**

The training ground was a muddy hole in the island, last week's cyclone having soaked the small amount of actual dirt which had then been churned up by running feet. William Lennox was muttering under his breath as the sucking mud dragged at his legs. His left knee was already throbbing from an awkward fall in the thick stuff, and the exercise was not even half way through. At the rate he was going it would take him the rest of the time limit just to get to the target zone, assuming his leg held up for that long.

He stiffened as a shadow fell across him and a second later relaxed as a huge black had plucked him up. "You indicate signs of malfunction Lennox," Ironhide said in a soft rumble. "Does the exercise need to abort?"

"I think I've strained my knee. It's not life threatening Ironhide, just damned annoying. I can't make any headway in this mud."

The Autobot nodded and proceeded forward with surprising stealth considering his mass. "Good. I am looking forward to handing Ratchet his aft."

Will blinked at the imagery that statement produced and then firmly shook the thought out of his head. Ironhide having anything to do with Ratchet's aft was NOT something he wanted to contemplate. He paid attention as they moved closer to the target zone, and skillfully took down a few NEST men that were on the opposite team as they moved. Most looked resigned at the paint balls that exploded against their torsos as soon as they saw who was responsible. Many believed that nothing could stop their Major and the Autobot Weapons Specialist once they got going. Others were new and wore awed expressions as the duo passed. Neither of the two moving swiftly through the grounds paid much thought to it, but their effectiveness was the result of a trust so deep that it was unusual between warriors of the same race, nevermind two vastly different peoples.

Ironhide suddenly grunted and dropped low. Will could hear another large 'bot moving nearby and held his breath...

"SLAGGING GLITCH HEADED SPAWN OF UNICRON!"

The sudden shout made Will jump. That was Ratchet in fine voice. Curious as to what had set the medic off this time Ironhide rose from his place of concealment, and both human and Autobot watched as the sometimes Hummer bore down on a guilty looking Mudflap, dripping the purple paint that had been their team's colour.

Will sniggered. "I don't think anyone told Ratchet that friendly incoming fire has right of way."

**If Your Advance Is Going Well, It's An Ambush.**

Optimus Prime, valiant and noble leader of the Autobots, Last Prime and bearer of the Matrix of Leadership, was stalking into enemy territory. The soldiers of NEST had gone insane, and he had to get to the command center and recall the other Autobots to assist him in returning normalacy to the Diego Garcia base. Humans were small, yes, but they were a stubborn and wiley foe and he knew it would take all of his own cunning and millenia of battle experience to get away with what he was trying to do. The men had already taken down the newly revived Jazz and recently arrived Prowl, and were now out for him.

So far, so good. Only a large stretch of ground to go and he could slip in to the large hangar to do what he had to do. He scanned the area, pleased to note that all humans were elsewhere, and transformed into his alt. mode to drive quietly across the tarmac and into the dim coolness of the hangar. Once there he transformed and took a step...

A huge net, hung from the ceiling, dropped suddenly around him. It was made of metal and as it contracted around his armor a charge raced through his circuits, momentarily glitching his systems enough to make him fall. Before he knew it the humans were swarming over him, securing him in the net and climbing on him without fear. He could not retaliate in case he hurt the fragile beings, and resigned him self to the torment that they would surely inflict on him.

Being washed and waxed by a being who could get into very sensitive places was exceedingly embarrassing.

Master Sergent Epps walked up his chest plates and looked down into his optics with a huge grin. "I keep telling ya big guy - if your advance is going well, it's an ambush!"


End file.
